A FORMER GAC ELDER TELLS THE TRUTH

By: Leonard Wilkins (12-27-2000)

 

Gary, Edith & Leonard Wilkins (1983-84)

(While members of DMGAC)

 

The fear of man brings a snare but whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.  Proverbs 29: 1-27

 

“I digress here to add that it has taken me the better portion of my life to realize that my dear wife, though not a Bible scholar, has been gifted and endowed with a great deal of wisdom and insight.”

 

 

My intent in writing this expose¢ is to assist in the healing of anyone who has been wounded, hurt, brain washed and living in fear of damnation in regard to having departed from the CULT established by Lloyd Goodwin and known as the Gospel Assembly Churches.

 

Honestly, our Heavenly Father has completely healed and delivered us from the pain, hurt and fear we experienced due to our contact with this Ungodly CULT!

 

This expose¢ of my experiences with Lloyd Goodwin and his Gospel Assemblies CULT was written with a great many tears. I cannot help weeping uncontrollably when I recall all the pain I caused those I love and cherish the most in this life, my dearest, loving wife of 33 years, Edith Ann Wilkins and my only son Gary Ray Wilkins, whom I would willingly lay down my life to protect and shelter from harm.

 

For this reason, I first want to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to my dear wife and son for putting them through those years of hell on earth. Unfortunately, I don't know if my son will ever be able to completely forgive me for putting him through that hell called Gospel Assembly Church and Christian Academy. It seems like every disagreement we have had since leaving that cult has had Gospel Assembly and Lloyd Goodwin as an underlying fermenting factor. God willing, that will someday pass, and he will come to understand how much I love him. That I was sincere in my desire to give him the best I knew. I will simply have to be patient, and let him find his peace with it all.


I would admonish all parents of children, who have attended the Gospel Assembly Christian Academy. Be patient, kind and love your children unconditionally. Pray that our Heavenly Father will heal them and grant them grace to forgive us for our ignorance and mistakes. Should they come to you wanting to talk about the bitterness, resentment and anger of their experience have the wisdom to listen without becoming defensive.

 

I was going to write a long letter to Wanda Mason who had made inquiry as to our current status. However, after reading Gary King's post on Mike Davis' web site I opted to write a more complete expose¢ of how we went to the Des Moines Gospel Assembly. As well as, why we left that den of asps and vipers. If it is not posted because of the garbage Lloyd said about me and my family, I will know that I attempted to do my part to help set others free of the evil manipulations and seductions that existed during our 10 year tenure in the Des Moines Gospel Assembly.

 

My expose¢ of contact and involvement with the DMGA.


I began receiving Lloyd Goodwin's tapes and books while attending Don Patton’s Gospel Assembly in Ft. Worth, Texas. I began to hold house meetings using Lloyd’s tapes. This caused a disturbance in Don’s Gospel Assembly. Lloyd told me on the phone that if I was going to be a true and effective minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that I had to suffer the persecution that was ensuing and come out of Babylon (Don’s "old body" Gospel Assembly). I was also instructed to take as many as would listen to the "Truth" with me. Yes, I would be branded a worker of iniquity by my old church and minister, but that was OK. Jesus was also branded as a Lawbreaker and deceiver. Lloyd told me that my pastor and church were "apostate and only the true ministers and Saints of God would come with me". To the dismay of my church family, friends and spouse I proceeded as instructed. We gathered a few individuals but not enough of what Lloyd termed “wheat” to start a church.


I was then instructed that if I wanted to continue on with God I would have to move to Des Moines. I was told to inform the others attending our meetings that they would have to do the same. Not many were willing to entirely uproot their families to make such a move. In fact, it took several of them (the Cleggs, Davis' and Mom and Dad Calvin in particular) several months to make that decision. So, they were branded as chaff and I was instructed to move to Des Moines without them. However, I was receiving extreme resistance from my dear wife. (I digress here to add that it has taken me the better portion of my life to realize that my dear wife, though not a Bible scholar, has been gifted and endowed with a great deal of wisdom and insight.) I informed Lloyd of my wife's resistance to the move and he told me that I should visit Des Moines with my wife. However, she refused to go.

 

I was instructed to come visit Des Moines without her. Two other young men who were also listening to the tapes and reading Lloyd's books went with me on that first visit. At the end of that visit Lloyd instructed me to set a date in September of that year for the move. If it were God’s will, Edith would come with me. Either way, I shouldn't be concerned. God would provide me a faithful and loyal wife in Des Moines should Edith prove to be chaff by refusing to move with me. After all, I wouldn't want to miss the "First Resurrection" by being unfaithful to Jesus Christ due to being unable to overcome the family ties of a wife and child. Why I did not pick up on this deceptive reasoning early on is beyond me.


Once I informed my wife that I was going to move with or without her, she agreed to at least visit Des Moines. We attended our first Gospel Assembly convention in May of 1977. The men sat on one side of the assembly house and the women on the other. I thought this strange but really did not give it more than this passing thought. After all, Israel of old separated the sexes for worship. Little did I know that this was just one of the subtle ways Lloyd used to control and manipulate the congregation. I remember standing to my feet and saying a few emotionally charged words. Then, while I was still talking Lloyd stood to his feet and before I knew what was happening the entire assembly was up shouting, the band was playing and the men were dancing all around me congratulating me for being wheat and having eyes to see the "Truth". Little did I know then, that I would see this same scene repeated many times over in the coming years. It was a clever ploy to supply an emotional need of acceptance to many young men that visited Des Moines, myself included. Needless to say, I was hooked. My emotional need to be accepted, along with the praise, played right into Lloyd's deceptive strategies of manipulation. I informed my wife that I was determined to move to Des Moines so I could be discipled and sent out to pastor. Out of fear of losing our marriage, my dearest wife agreed to the move. I weep with great sorrow as I attempt to put this portion into legible words. I now realize that my need for acceptance and praise completely blinded me to one of the cruelest things a man can do his loving spouse and children that is to manipulate them through fear and intimidation. What an idiot I was... I have repented to my precious wife for my cowardice and cruelty and with the grace of Jesus Christ and her unconditional love; Edith has been able to forgive me. Although, I still weep before God every time I think of the cruel manner in which I treated her during those years, all in the name of the so called "Truth".

 
To continue:

 

To make the move to Des Moines within the time frame given me by Lloyd, I had to let my house in Texas go into foreclosure. He said, "God would provide me with a better home in Des Moines.” What actually happened is that the property owner sued me for breach of contract and upon direction from Lloyd Goodwin I filed bankruptcy to get out from under the obligation and debt. When I look back, I now see how that was unjust to the property owner in Texas. It was also immoral and totally violated numerous scriptural principles. Nevertheless, I packed up our belongings and moved my family to Des Moines. Ron Calvin, a single brother who I had lead to salvation in Texas also left his aged father and mother alone in Texas and moved with us to Des Moines. Duh! Does anyone see anything here that we were too blind to see back then? I certainly hope you can see the direct violations of numerous scriptural principles.


Continuing:
 

I was a diligent student and attained a leadership role as a recognized Elder in the Assembly who would eventually be sent out to pastor an Assembly of my own. Brother I had it all down, the doctrine, the tactics, which we called order and everything that went with it. I knew when to say Amen, when to shout, and when to lead the pack in a "victory dance". When there were new people or visitors, (i.e., potential proselytes from other churches which is how 98% of the congregation in Des Moines was built) in the services or a problem with a disgruntled saint or minister, I knew how to get up from anywhere within the assembly and deliver a short, to the point message, that was designed to confirm the message Lloyd had delivered from the pulpit and/or help bring the backslider back into the cult’s fold.

 

I was even sent with Lee Ray to Florida to try out for a new “church” that was being established there. I soon came to realize that this was simply a ploy to get me to be less confrontational about things (personal and doctrinal) that I had started to see and bring to Lloyd's attention. What I didn't realize at that point was that he was already fully aware of the issues and he never liked having his actions, authority, morals or doctrine questioned. That was a Real Big, NO! NO!


I distinctly remember, how after one service I quietly confronted him with a particular issue. He angrily looked me straight in the eyes and in front of a large group of brothers from the church, said to me. “Brother Wilkins, you concern yourself with matters that are to great for you and you talk too much!”  He then whirled around and promptly exited the sanctuary. I knew at that point I had just entered the realm of disfavor. I should have known, from years of observing him work, I would never recover from that place of disfavor. Yet, I was still convinced he was The "Man of God" and that we were in "The TRUTH". That God would work everything out. When in reality, I was deceiving myself and denying the voice of the Holy Spirit of God within me.


During our last few years of our 10 year tenure at DMGA we became aware of and confronted Lloyd Goodwin concerning possible sexual indiscretions and adulteries, forced abortions, imposed marriages, deceptions concerning school tuitions, to suppliers, to established government and other things that happened to many members and former friends. However, I refuse to address any issue that did not personally affect my spouse, my son and me. I have no desire to harm or further embarrass anyone who has suffered as a result of dealings with Lloyd Goodwin and the Gospel Assembly Churches (CULT).

 

I do however, humbly apologize and ask forgiveness from all and especially those who suffered immensely by me lending my support to this cult. Forgive me for being silent and not denouncing the evil works of darkness. Please forgive my cowardice of action due to fear of reprisals. As an Elder it was my responsibility and obligation to “expose the unfruitful works of darkness” no matter what the personal cost to me. I failed you individually and as a whole. I also failed my precious LORD. Ephesians 5:10-12


After falling from Lloyd's grace and favor my emotional stability began to shatter. I was in constant turmoil. I was a nervous wreck and in total fear of damnation. I found myself constantly repenting to the Lord for the distrust, anger and resentment that kept building inside my heart and mind toward the man and the movement. I'm not sure if Gary King was aware of it, but Lloyd even constructed a rivalry between Gary and myself. In an attempt to keep this from happening, I quietly tried to let Gary know that I held no ill will or resentment to his rise in favor. I gave my brother one of my brand new suits that I had just paid a large sum for. That was hard for me to do because most of my money went into the church and I really liked that suit. I volunteered and went over to help roof a home Gary and Donna had purchased, all the time feeling I was not really wanted there. I did everything I could to let Gary know it was OK if God (actually Lloyd) was electing to let him surpass my standing in the assembly. I don't think I was successful because Gary and I never seemed to really hit it off, although I loved him dearly as a brother in Christ. If you ever read this Gary, please forgive any perceived wrong you may have suffered at my hand. No ill was ever intended you on my part. Although I did think your zeal was out there sometimes, I always respected you and your abilities and knew where the real problem originated.


I remember:


When I was suffering from back pain to the place where I could not even get out of bed, much less sit up and then having to suffer through back surgery, Lloyd personally admonished me that I must be under the curse of God or I would not be having this problem. I would be in perfect health if I were in favor with God. What he actually meant, was if I was in favor with him. The fact was, although I was not aware of it at the time, my then current work related injury was an aggravated after fact of an untreated injury I received while working in a slaughter house after moving to Des Moines in 1977. Which by the way, Lloyd insisted I take, because it would provide me more money for tithes and offerings to "The Church".

 

I remember:


Being called into Lloyd's office and told that my son was lazy and would be fortunate to make it through High School or find decent employment because he would not put forth what they felt was the necessary effort to succeed. Therefore, I needed to tighten the reigns on him, stop him from day dreaming and flirting with the girls because he would never be allowed to marry any girl from any of the Gospel Assembly Churches. Does anyone have any idea how this would make a young male teenager feel? Well, I do, because my son told me himself, "that if it was already determined that he would not be allowed to marry within the ranks of the so called "Church of the Elect," what need was there for him to stay in the church? He certainly was not going to be a eunuch for Lloyd Goodwin and the Gospel Assemblies". Of course, I was so brain washed that I did as they instructed and in the process drove my son even more into his protective shell and further away from me, his father, the one person who should have always been there to love him unconditionally. Then they told me to tell Gary that he has to use Vaseline Jelly on his hair to hold in down, because they didn’t like the way his hair look when he combed it dry. In a perverted attempt to please Lloyd, I gave Gary the word. I totally alienated my son to the place where he actually hated me and told me that he was leaving our home and the church just as soon as he was of legal age and if he never saw either of us again it would be to soon. My son did however, move with us to California and we have overcome a lot of the junk but there is still a subtle wall of separation between us due to our relationship with this CULT. I still have faith that someday, our Heavenly Father will enable us to tear down this wall completely. Until then, I must be patient and love him unconditionally.


Before I proceed, I must praise my Heavenly Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit for the healing power of and in Jesus, because I no longer suffer from any of the physical, mental, or spiritual maladies that resulted from the stress and abuse my family and I suffered from my involvement with Lloyd Goodwin and the Gospel Assembly Churches.


After leaving this cult and obtaining long term Christian Counseling from a pastor I had known from my youth, I came to realize that due to the stress of not being able to please Lloyd Goodwin and not speak out against what I knew was unjust and wrong I actually had what is medically considered a severe nervous breakdown. Developing a medical condition called chronic ulcerated colitis, which also caused a recurring cyst at the bottom of my backside, due to a hole in the colon wall. I also had to have recurring surgeries on this cyst condition. I suffered with these medical maladies for the last 3 to 3 1/2 years we were in attendance at the Des Moines Gospel Assembly and for several years after leaving.

 
In this 3 to 3 1/2 year period even though I knew I was in disfavor I still wanted to please Lloyd and would go to services bleeding and in pain. At times I would be in such severe pain from cramps and bleeding I could only manage to attend by listening to the services via intercom in the medical facilities. That was always something I did everything I could to avoid because Lloyd was always told when someone was there and he would come by and remind me that God was punishing me for holding back and not submitting entirely. That if I would truly repent, God would heal me. This only added to my stress because I honestly loved and honored this "Man of God". I honestly did not know what else to do. I had given my entire life to him and his cause. Each one of these pep talks would result in an ensuing bout of sever cramps, colon bleeding and a recurring cyst. This always led to more medication to stop the bleeding and surgery to drain the cyst. Finally, when it was so severe that I knew I would have to attend services in the church medical facilities, I would elect to stay home and deal with the public humiliations he would dish out to me the next service I was able to attend or just sit toward the back of the attendance hall in absolute pain and discomfort. I was on such high doses of anti-inflammatory drugs and other medications to combat the colon ulcer and bleeding that on one occasion, my wife and son came home to find me unconscious and almost dead. They rushed me to the hospital. The doctors told us that "had they been 10 minutes later, my heart would have stopped beating entirely and I would have died". I was actually angry with my wife and son for not letting me die. I suppose Lloyd would have been elated if that had happened because he could have used it as proof positive of what happens to those who questioned him, his actions, his motives and his morals and do not submit, giving him unquestioning loyalty.

 

During these 3 to 3 1/2 years of hell on earth several other things added to my stress and my illness but they also helped pry my eyes open to reality and truth.


I remember:

 

Towards the end of a hospital stay with one of my severe bouts of bleeding colitis, we received a phone call from my family in Oklahoma that my father was dying. That if I wanted to see him I should probably get down there within two weeks. I called Lloyd from the hospital, gave him the news and asked permission to go see my dying father. His response was; "This is your family now, and you have no need or business taking the money to go see a dying, abusive man who you have not seen for almost 15 years". I cannot adequately describe how those words crushed me. No matter how ungodly and abusive my father had been, was I not to honor him for raising me to the best of his knowledge? I was hurt and confused. However, I was prepared to obey. I managed to suppress my hurt, anger and confusion by telling myself Lloyd was the "Man of God". That if I wanted God's favor I must obey. Then one of my half sisters called again and told me that my father really wanted to see me before he died. My stepmother also asked that I come down because dad did not have much time left on this earth and really needed to see me. I really loved my stepmother who raised me as her own since I was a two-year-old child. So, I again called Lloyd and asked for permission to go see my dying father. He started to give me a discourse on obedience and loyalty, when, and I really don't know how I managed it but I inserted that the scriptures command us to honor our fathers and mothers. I also reminded him that he had instructed us that this honor had nothing whatsoever to do with the father or mother being deserving of honor and that if he were in my position he would do no less. At this point he relinquished and told me I was correct, to go ahead and go see my dying father and comfort my beloved stepmother. My dad wanted to see me so he could repent of the hurt, pain and abuse he had bestowed on me when I was growing up. Something Lloyd never did do. My Dad also wanted me to help him ask Jesus to forgive him before he died. My Dad died repentant and forgiven by both our Lord Jesus and me. I Thank God I went to see my father in spite of the disfavor it brought me with Lloyd Goodwin.


I remember:


Not six months later, when the police came to our home and informed me that my stepmother had passed away and that there was no one to take care of her final arrangements and burial. I again called Lloyd and ask for permission to take care of this. He asked me if she had anything of value when she died. I told him I thought that she still had the 3-carat diamond ring my father had given her on their wedding day and some other valuable jewelry. He then said I was becoming responsible and doing the right thing by wanting to take care of my deceased stepmother’s arrangements. He even gave me accolades from the pulpit in front of the entire congregation. Man, was I elated! The "Man of God" had praised me in front of all my peers. He had sucked me in again and I was too dumb to realize it. However, reality came home when I came back and privately told him my stepmother had sold the ring and jewelry to sustain herself during her last six months of life.

 

Lloyd's response; "Well then that was a wasted trip and expenditure". I was crushed again, even though it was not my fault. I had not brought back something of value to Lloyd Goodwin, the "Man of God".

 

I remember:

 
When my family lost our unborn twins. Edith almost died because she did not want to have a DNC preformed to save her life and abort the one dead and the other dying twin, because Lloyd would say we had done something wrong. It was during a Swine Flu season and the doctor Lloyd had us going to, was giving everyone antibiotics. He never even considered giving Edith a pregnancy test. True to form, Lloyd told our family we lost our babies because we were cursed of God and would not be fit parents. We learned later we actually lost them because the doctor diagnosed Edith as having the flu and gave her those heavy antibiotics during her first trimester of pregnancy. I didn't see it at the time but I think this is where we began to lose Gary. He has since told us, he can "remember sitting out on the porch after his Mom lost the twins; crying, and telling God he hated HIM for killing his brother and sister".


By the Grace of God my medical condition began to improve to the place where I could actually work again. However, this did not come before I had lost a good job, our house, our auto and almost everything we owned. It was during this time that Lloyd instructed me to apply for a position where Mr.Towns, Larry's dad and Bryan Towns' grandfather and several other men from the church, worked. I did as instructed. I put in an application and was called for an interview. All was going well, then they ask me if I had ever had any back problem. I had to be honest in all my dealing so I informed them that I had had back surgery a few years back. This company then thanked me for my time and informed me that they would not be able to use my services because there was a great deal of lifting involved in the job. They could not take the chance that I would re-injure my back and have to go on work comp disability again. I understood and thanked them for allowing me the opportunity of an interview. To my dismay when I reported back the outcome of the interview to Lloyd Goodwin, he unmercifully berated me for telling the company I had had a back injury. He said; "You should have just kept your mouth shut and not told them about the back injury. Besides, there is nothing wrong with your back, it's all in your head". I was crushed, I could not believe that the "Man of God" actually wanted me to attempt to deceive and become a liar in an attempt to get a job. I then told him that even if I had done as he said, the next step was a physical examination. The company doctor would see the visible 6" scar at the base of my back. How would that have appeared to him? I said to Lloyd; "I would have proven myself to be a deceiver. Not only bringing myself into disrepute but injuring the reputation of the assembly as well.” That was not Lloyd's concern. I should have done it anyway. I walked into the sanctuary sobbing. Lee Ray approached me and I said to him, "For the last 10 years I have done everything I could to please Lloyd Goodwin. I now realize it is useless and hopeless. I'm done, I've had it. I'm finished. I've lost my son who is dear to me and it's impossible to please this man. I now realize that I must not be what Bro. Goodwin terms "one of the elect" and I am damned. I'm just going to have to accept it and deal with it and die cursed." I then left the assembly hall before service started and only returned two or three times before moving my belongings and family to California. I was actually so terrified that someone would find out that we were going to leave that we packed our belongings at night while one of the services was being conducted, so we could escape without confrontation from any of the Elders or other members living in the apartment complex we then lived in.


There is so much more that has been left unsaid, things I saw and heard him do, people he publicly and privately demeaned and absolutely castigated without mercy. Lloyd's gospel was very much a conditional love gospel and
NOT the "Gospel of Our Lord Jesus The Christ."

On several occasions after moving to California and due to all of the pain, hurt, slander and vulgarities, which my family and I suffered because of Lloyd Goodwin and that cult, I honestly considered purchasing a revolver, then going back to Des Moines and blowing Lloyd's head off. In fact, although they did not know that was my intent, I actually took a few shooting lessons with some church friends to learn how to shoot a revolver just for that purpose. Had it not been for the fact that it would have only caused my wife, son and then his young family extreme heartache and pain I would have done it. During those first 10 years after we left the Gospel Assembly Cult I seriously wanted to murder Lloyd. The thought of it actually ate at me night and day. I can recall on several occasions when the Holy Spirit would wake me up in the middle of the night speaking to my heart. That my anger and evil intent would only bring more pain to those I loved and sought to protect and prevent my healing. Also, reminding me that no one could hurt one of His little ones and get away with it indefinitely, that vengeance was the Lord's, to let HIM handle it. With tearful anger, guilt and shame for not speaking up, I would remind HIM it was not just my family and I, consider all the others we watched Lloyd hurt that we kept silent about and all those he was still hurting. Needless to say, I did not act on my feelings and HE the God of all the earth ultimately Handled the problem.

 

Lloyd Goodwin died in sin an unrepentant sinner on the property and in the shrine we all bought and built for him with our money, blood, sweat, and pain. By Lloyd's own words he died cursed and under the judgment of God "anyone who dies before they are 70 or 80 was cursed and under the judgment of God". When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases but the righteous will see their fall. Proverbs 29:16


Dear friends, it is true, nothing is beyond our Heavenly Father's Almighty control, even Lloyd Goodwin. Yet, that does not excuse God’s people from the responsibility of speaking up and exposing the unfruitful works of darkness and the ungodly machinations of men masquerading as angels of light.  Let us not fear any man or group of men. Let us all fulfill our obligation to be watchmen on the wall and cry aloud for the sake of the innocent and unsuspecting. Do not fear the retribution or words of men.

 

The fear of man brings a snare but whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.  Read: Proverbs 29: 1-27

 

As you can see from this posting, in spite of what Lloyd Goodwin said, I am not dead. Edith and I are still MARRIED (33 years now)... We still have our son, a lovely daughter-in-law and three precious grandchildren, Ashley 9, Tiffany 8, and Zachary 2.  --- 


We have moved on. I hope and pray that others who were and are subjugated to the abuse, intimidation, manipulation and domination of Lloyd Goodwin and his Gospel Assembly Cult will be able to do the same.

Note: Neither Goodwin’s cult nor his followers hold any power over my life. As to Lloyd Goodwin’s slanderous and vulgar personal attack upon my character or morals, made either during our 10-year tenure there or after we left his cult I will simply say, “Untrue.” Beyond that, I REFUSE to comment and give any sense of credence to his comments. Those who have suffered his character assassinations know these things are done in order to strip away any possible influence that defectors may still have on those remaining behind. Those who feed on such things will do so and nothing one could say would dissuade them from their views. I stand before my Heavenly Father Clear, Free and in the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. It took over 10 years for me to forgive myself for the pain I inflicted upon my family and myself during those 10 years of involvement with this CULT. I have finally been able to let my Heavenly Father heal me of the physical, mental and emotional pain my family and I endured while at the Des Moines Gospel Assembly. I give Praise to God that the pain and hurts are gone and neither Lloyd Goodwin’s cult nor his followers can hurt either my family or me any more.


We currently attend and are members of a Foursquare Church in California. All we desire is to be a blessing and help to our church family and pastors.

 

Those still seduced and involved in that vicious CULT please save your words, and efforts on the unsuspecting and uninformed. I was there and I know what I witnessed and experienced.

 

I encourage those still in pain to break the false code of silence and speak out. Should there be anyone that feels I was in any way responsible of causing you pain during our years at the Gospel Assembly CULT I again ask your forgiveness. Those precious children of God who were hurt and maligned feel free to write us @ histruth1@yahoo.com
 
You may contact my son Gary Ray Wilkins @ grywlk@aol.com

 

Sincerely,


Leonard Wilkins

A former Elder of the Des Moines Gospel Assembly  - Click here to read “The Rest of My Story

 

 

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